now i understand

Posted: August 19, 2004 in everything else

I’m listening to a cd I’ve not listened to in ages. In fact I’ve not listened to it since I was *going out* with a guy. Not in a good way. But thats all over, so its ok, but some of the songs remind me of him. Even though I only saw him twice. I used to put lyrics in the subject lines of E:mails… As you can probably guess, most of them were from songs on this album. That and some of the lyrics just remind me of that period of my life. Which I don’t really want to remember right now. I guess the answer is to change the cd.. But another song, by the Killers (who I hadn’t heard of *then*) reminded me of it too… The song is called “smile like you mean it” and the lyrics go “…And someone will drive her around / Down the same streets that I did / On the same streets that I did…” I don’t why that specifically reminded me of him, except I thought, the other day as I was driving through Tayport, out towards St Andrews, “oh, *** drove me home this way once.” Stupid really, cos it wasn’t like we were really *involved* or anything, we just had coffee once and went to the cinema. And he was far too old. shit why am I talking about this now? I said nothing here at the time, when No-one read my blog. Well, no-one I knew, and now, when people can leave their mark I choose to regurgitate this crap. Fabbydoosey.

Its Indie rock’n’roll for me. Its all I need.

Smile like you mean it.

Anyway. I’ve just bared a part of my *torrid* past for those who fancy perusing it. I told two people the whole thing at camp. It was the first time I ever talked about it.. But my friend at camp was in a similar situation, so it helped her, which, I guess, is why I told them. I didn’t know why at the time.

I don’t have anything else to say about it, just, don’t get involved with older guys. Thats my pearl of wisdom. I know what happened (that I’ve revealed) doesn’t sound like much, but…

ha. well, I’ve never since managed to use up all my free minutes from late night phone calls. Or over run my text allowance by nearly 100 texts.

shoot, I feel kinda ill now. But that could just have been the oats earlier. I can’t eat Gluten, but I’m doing an Oats test, so I had some oat cakes earlier. They weren’t bad.

everything will be alright…

  1. Kevdog says:

    Just curious. How’d you find my blog? Your’s is pretty sweet. You’ve been writing in here for a looooong time. Hopefully someday mine will be that cool.

  2. Anonymous says:

    “torrid” is one of my very favourite words.

    suddenly i am able to read your blog again!

    but i have forgotten the password

    that’s why i’m not signed in

    this is from emily.

    ps. what cd was it?

  3. Nodders says:

    I know how you feel about people actually reading blogs. There’s sometimes a sense of censorship, but don’t worry, I won’t tell. Oh and before I go, I wholeheartedly swear not to go out with older boys.

  4. Mike says:

    I also will not go out with older boys, however I will agree that the Killers are a sweet band. Who is the other band you mentioned?

  5. Sooz? says:

    Do you really want to know?
    It was Auf Der Maur.
    Which isn’t a bad album, all said.
    Ok. well, work out your password!!!

  6. Sooz? says:

    Good to know that neither Mr.T nor Mike will ever go out with older boys… not that i ever thought they would go out with boys of any age…..

    wow, 5 comments. thats quite a record for me!

  7. Sooz? says:

    Ok, I thought Mike was the Mike that I knew… but its not.. Hey, Mike, how’d you find me? with that funky “next blog” button? yeah, I thought as much….

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