It’s been a while

Posted: December 5, 2004 in everything else

Well, hello, my fine furry comrades.

Or whatever…

It has (I feel) been a while since I last really posted in a rambly sort of way. I was reading over some of my archives and they did make for quite fascinating reading. I was quite amazed to see the feelings that I had had, laid bare for all to see. In a very rambly sort of way. Hold on, I need some music to accompany my thoughts. Hurrah! After much confabulation or otherwise, my CD is now playing. Real Player screwed me over for a while. And the sound card is still a little buggered, so the tracks don’t play quite as well as they should, but never mind. Once I’ve finished saving Belle and Sebastian I can listen (in no particular order) all the other songs (albums) I’ve saved. Which are way too many.

Damn, I really wanted to transfer all the music files I had saved with Windows Media across to Real Player, but I can’t see how to do it.

Anyway, I’m now onto a random play list of all the 82 clips of music I currently have stored.

Today was interesting. It was the BB carol service. Of all the songs, it was “Hark the Herald angels sing” that got me.

“Born that man no more may die;

Born to raise the sons of earth,

Born to give them second birth”

(No, I’m not going to explain any further.).

I love your body work and your flashy pop up lights the way you hug the corners however fast and tight

I got a really nice almost early Christmas present the other day. Sarah gave me a bag of craft bits that Nicky had.

We had Granny and Jenni up this weekend, my Gran was going to see a flat at Scotscraig that she might buy- her flat in Glasgow is getting a bit much for her now, its beginning to get out of control. So, anyway, se saw the flat and she likes it, so she’ll put in an offer. The parents and assorted were discussing how much Granny’s flat would get- upwards of 120,000! and that’s a conservative view- simply because of the location and layout.

Oh my giddy aunt- Christmas is coming and I have so much still to do. I was informed on Saturday that I’m working till 7 next week, and it’s the Christmas night out as well, which should be fun. From what I’ve heard everyone gets bladdered. Last year Dave had a hangover that didn’t clear up till 6 the next night…

I’m feeling quite uninspired tonight, I don’t have many topics that I feel I can ramble on in depth about- I could go on about Davus’ long awaited “Beauty” post, oh that reminds me, I went to see Beauty and the Beast at the byre on Friday and it was excellent. I still found myself (as did David and Tara) analysing parts of the play, actually all the time. It struck me about halfway through the second half that the staging was rather like Gordon Craig’s (this won’t mean much to many of you) design (or Vision, because it never really took off, he was too demanding and wouldn’t allow for easier materials to be implemented) for his (and Stanislavski’s) version of Hamlet (1908). He had dreamt up these screens which would be moved and lit in different ways to portray different atmospheres etc, which is what Steven Wrentmoore’s designer did. It was good, very effective. This one used paper (I think? – that’s how they looked anyway…) covered screens, whereas Craig wanted natural materials- timber etc… – Which turned out to be far too heavy. Anyway, yes, Davus’ long awaited Beauty post- will it ever be forth coming? I guess only he can ever know.

In my opinion, it can be very hard for girls to look at themselves and say- I’m beautiful. There are certainly moments of that, but it’s almost never a continual thing. There are always flaws- there are times when different parts of ourselves don’t measure up to the standards we expect and we find ourselves dull, boring, unattractive, timid, whatever. We see all the imperfections and can’t quite accept that we could be anything other than this. We can never see ourselves as others do (sometimes that’s a blessing- other times, a curse) and so we judge ourselves as we have set our own standards. That’s why we find compliments hard (I know I do- about anything, be it personal or out-with myself) and can’t quite believe what people say about us. But, I’ll wait with baited breath as to what Davus has to say on the matter- he seems to be quite opinionated…

he set me down and so began the story of a charmless man

That, I hope, will never be said of me. I mean, hopefully I’ll never be a man (Lord knows I’m not planning on a sex change) and I hope I’ll never be charmless. I think that could be one of the worst things in the world, trying so hard to get people to like you and yet failing miserably… that would depress me. I’d actually be miserable. Hmm.

I made my aunt a badge today- she was very chuffed. I found an excellent use for parts of Alex’s birthday present to me- the jar is being use as a badge holder, and the scarf (which is pretty damn cool, but I couldn’t see myself wearing it as a scarf) is being used in the badges. It’s completely ace. So, anyway, Jenni was very chuffed with her badge and was like- d’ya think I could commission you? I could have my own badge maker! I was like- yeah. I suppose. Jees, I say “like” alot when I’m describing conversations. Maybe I should start selling badges and cards, Lord knows I love making them. Maybe that’s a gift I’ve been given. Along with Prophecy.

(If I haven’t told you this story before, I’ll explain it now. At camp in the summer, I made friends with a couple of people. One of them, Ruth, was talking to me one evening [this was when she, I and Ian were talking] and I said something and then later, in a conversation, sometime after camp, she told me that she though I had the gift of prophecy [This doesn’t mean I can see the future, it just means that I know {through God} what to say to people at times. He speaks through me. To give comfort, or advice, or whatever is needed at that time.] Because of what I said in the conversation, she said I sounded so sure- I knew what I was saying was the truth [I would tell you what it was, but it’s a trust thing] and it really comforted her. Which I thought was amazing. There have been one or two situations since then that I believe confirmed that gift. It’s an excellent gift to have. Iain and Pete [camp] both have the same gift, and Iain has also been gifted with Angels. He can see them. I told some of you that at school the other day. I’m actually not joking about that at all.)

(the boy done wrong again) hang your head in shame and cry your life away (the boy done wrong again) hang your head in shame and cry your life away are you ok now [instrumental] on saturday i was an angel shining fair you shone louder longer you put my shine to shame put me to shame now [instrumental] what is it i must do to pay for all my crime what is it i must do i would do it all the time do it all the time now [instrumental] all that i wanted was to sing the saddest song and if you would sing along i will be happy now [longer instrumental] woodland spring has put the darkness from your thinking if this towns a sinking ship then you know where to jump [instrumental] talking dirty for a hobby thats alright pour another glass of wine i’ll think of england this time [instrumental] all i wanted was to sing the saddest song and if you would sing along oh if you would sing along if you’d only sing along i will be happier

I was a little loathe to put in the “[instrumental]” but it helps to aid the flow of the song. Which is lovely. By Belle and Sebastian. Called The Boy Done Wrong Again. (I did miss out the punctuation deliberately, I’m not just nuts. Honest.)

oooh, my hand is getting cold now… I’m rather impressed at the length I have managed to go about not too much. Take me to task on that statement if you wish. Also, with all the fights that have been going on in this fair cyber-land called Blogworld, (at least in our county of it) I’m very impressed I haven’t had character assassinating “Mr/Mrs Anonymous” assassinating my character. Which, actually, considering my *readership* isn’t that surprising at all.

Hmm, I rather feel I have nothing else of any vague interest to say. So I shall toddle off. Good even.

(Although, it has just occurred to me that I don’t have a signing off thing. Hmmm. I’m not entirely sure I actually want one. Oh well. If you have a good idea, let me know. Doesn’t mean I’ll take any heed of you, but you can try.)

Tried to do a spell check then, when I copy pasted it, it screwed the spacing. This is doing my absolute nut in. I’m so pissed off.

  1. keir says:

    wow… that was the longest blog post ive ever bothered reading. eh – hate to break it to you, but i suspect you are not a prophet, merely capable of speaking with confidence (something that god is not required for)

  2. Sooz? says:

    wow, thanks keir- im impressed you read it all…
    you might well be right that i don’t have prophecy, but its a nice thought all the same- and since i believe in God, its more plausable for me than you.. if that made sense.
    yeah, well, no one else has bothered reading it all i guess. oh well.

  3. keir says:

    haha – victory for small blog postings! long blog posting sucks (unless you think your a prophet, in which case its ok)

  4. emily says:

    look, i made one.
    bit belated?

  5. Nodders says:

    Um, Suzi, please don’t take this as being disrespectful to your beliefs, I’m trying to be frank. Not that Frank is a particularly interesting person, but hey…

    Are you not in the least bit offended that they could not percieve the fact that maybe it is YOU saying the comforting things, that it is YOU that can speak truthfully. Is your God the only being capable of such virtues, are humans incapable of aiding one’s friend through THEIR own words? Is it genuinely a comforting thing to feel that whatever good you are doing in someone’s life is not your own doing, but some other entity? Also, physically seeing angels, eh? Yup, uh huh…

  6. Anonymous says:

    LOL!!!! sounds like brainwashing to me sozzles souxy

  7. Sooz? says:

    ok, well, you could be right- i don’t believe that i ever actually knew that i was being prompted to say anything- i just got a feeling from some other people that they had heard God in my words. I see your POV Gordo, Its a valid point, and it is in some respects good to think that you as a person can offer comfort- i still think thats a gift, whether divine or not is up to you. I don’t know if i have any gift from God, I don’t know anything for sure- i sound alot more vehement in my beliefs in that post that i actually feel, i just don’t know how else to express myself sometimes though. If I had prophecy- i think it was a loan, I haven’t had the situation again, it was almost a one-off. The situation that made ruth think i had the gift, i didn’t know what i was talking about, I had to be strong for her in order to be strong for myself. it was about self-assurance as much as reassuring her. (we were talking about death and heaven- something that affects me deeply.) I didn’t ever think that was a real example of prophecy.

    its entirely possible and totally probable that i am nothing more than a *normal*, extra- ordinary person. as in ordinary. not extraordinary.
    pssh. im talking crap. please leave me in a corner and ignore me.

    It could all be brainwashing, I don’t know. At least, even if it is, i have more comfort in believing there is someone up there looking out for me than not having that.

    btw who are you “anonymous”?

    in other news, drama was at one point depressing, at others gleeful. the after school director workshop thing was *well* attended (it was me, tara, chloe and johnny. [rogerson]). But hey, we all got free tickets to see Beauty and the Beast. so I’ve seen it twice now! w00t w00t.

    wow, this is a long comment, im sorry if i kinda contradict myself between this and the post, i don’t mean to, ii think things just occur differently to me depending on the mood i find myself in when i confront them.

  8. emily says:

    (sorry to interrupt, but CAN I GET A LINK TO YOUR PAGE PLEASE, YOU HAVE A LINK TO MINE!)

    (ps. check out my new format!!)

  9. Lolly says:

    Wow long post and very random! ^_^
    I’m impressed Suzibean..

    On the subject of the whole Prophecy thing:

    I really admire you for believing so strongly in yuor religion and sticking to your faith despite what others say.
    I don’t really know much about Prophecy so I can’t really comment and say you are right/wrong but that’s really cool.
    And also – the angel thing: that’s also cool..i mean how does anybody know what goes on in other’s head (I for one would LOVE to see what goes on in John’s – can you IMAGINE?!)
    I mean..imagine if you saw..i don’t know, lines everywhere! Would people believe you!

    Lou xxxx

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