You’re beautiful..

Posted: August 16, 2005 in everything else

Ok, So I said I would write something in the next few days, and that was on like Friday or something.. So I guess I should make good on my promise.

What should I talk about?

I turned 18 this year. It’s been a funny year really. Started off with the best intentions to get great coursework results, and I did ok, except in English. Where I’d hoped for a B (maybe even an A) I got a C. Not like me, so this was a shock and quite possibly one of the first times I’ve nearly failed at something I’m supposed to be quite good at. It was probably a lot of my own fault (who am I kidding? It is my fault, I can’t blame anyone else for my success or failure) because maybe I didn’t work as hard as I should have. But that’s Life. And it doesn’t really matter in the end. I’m still going to University and I still got the best I could wish for in my Drama exam (woooooo! I got an A, I LOVE DRAMA!) so, in reality, what does one C really mean? Apart from when you build your whole self around your success and define yourself as that. Which, to a point, I guess a lot of us do. I know I used to.

On that note, I think I’ll move on to my summer. The best summer so far. I started it off by going to Base camp (BCB) which is a leadership training week on Arran. It was the best week I’ve spent in quite a while. I went through a period of self doubt and really not feeling good about myself or who I was or what I could possibly have to offer, all because I’d kinda lost my faith in God. I know a lot of you who occasionally read this are atheists or agnostics and that’s fine for you, if you can say that you are a satisfied and fulfilled human being. I couldn’t. I needed to know that there is a creator God who made me and loves ME dearly. I didn’t really know that, in my heart, before this summer. So there I was, this wavering, not really sure why I was going to a full-on Christian event, person who needed rescued from the storm of life, and I went to BCB and my heart was changed. I felt God’s love for me. Truly felt it.

After that I was on Holiday with my family, which was fun and challenging. Spending two weeks in hotels and a car with four other adults is not the best holiday atmosphere, but still it was enjoyable.

I then scampered off to KX3, another camp on the island of Arran. This was another uplifting week. I was a trainee leader here, and there were three other trainees on the camp. Three of the nicest people you will ever meet, quite honestly. There was Sarah, the mad Manc, who impressed me with her whole personality. She was lovely. We didn’t always see eye to eye, but that just made it more fun.
Remmie was another of the three. This girl is the most resilient, brave, caring and honest person I know. I honestly love her. She has been through so much in her life and she never really lets it get her down. She was so brave the night we (the trainees) were doing the evening meeting. She was willing to share some of her story with us all. I was so honoured to have met her.
Alison was our last trainee. A girl after my own heart, we had some random conversations, but they were great. Anything and everything could be and was discussed as we went about camp that week- like headless chickens doing crafts or drama every five minutes…

The best part of that week was the time I got to spend with the campers and with the rest of the team, just discussing life, everything. It’s hard to articulate just how cool that week really was. It was a life-affirming experience and really made me question preconceived notions I had about people and the way that we interact with one another. Which is mega cool.

It was a non-stop summer because when I got home from that I had about three days to repack my bags and go to Lendrick Muir (LM5c) for my parents Watersports camp. Another awesome week. I spent a lot of my time with a guy called Pete, who I made friends with last year, though it feels like much longer. We spent a good few hours that week discussing Life, the Universe and Everything. (The answer is, of course, 42.) The time we spent just talking was so good. It’s a relief to talk about spiritual stuff with someone who is on the same path as you and who goes through the exact same stuff that you do. We had a lot of common dilemmas that it was just really good to talk about together.

When I got home from that, I spent most of my time at Barnardos or with my friends. Barnardos is an amazing place. It supports families in Dundee who have disabled children, either physically or mentally handicapped. These are children who could really teach you about being on the edge of society. They amaze me.

“You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful its true.”

That’s what some of those kids needed to believe. That it doesn’t matter about your outward appearance and that whatever they do or say or look like that marks them out as “different” doesn’t really matter because they are all beautiful.

And now its holiday club. And I have to work out all my stuff for registration and halls and moving out. Its really quite scary.

So that’s been my summer.

How was yours?

  1. Nodders says:

    I never really realised how little outlet you have within the group to talk about your faith (that is without some pestulant plague such as Keir or Davey to dispute your beliefs) so I’m glad you found a place that got those god juices flowing again.

    A C in English? Donkey balls to that. You deserved better. Ah well, let us take refuge in the thought that although Alex won the Creative Writing prize, we’re still better than her. Somehow. The fact she won it somewhat disproves that theory, but I’m sticking with my story.

    And finally, despite that being an impressive and interesting post – James Blunt? Yeauch. HOw could you? I thought you had style… ;P

  2. Sooz? says:

    Well, maybe I do and maybe I don’t. But I quite like James Blunt.. But hey, you don’t have to listen to it…


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