why why why oh god why

Posted: November 20, 2006 in everything else

tonight was awesome in so many ways, i was at the evening service at church and kevin (?) one of the worship leaders was doing the talk/teaching and it was on worship (surprisingly enough) and it was just awesome. we did a few wee excercises, like meditation and writing down stuff and then we just sang and praised and it was awesome, and what was going through my head the whole time was “why”? why did nicky have to die why did granny have to go when she did why do i have to continually doubt you why did you do so much for us why did i make such amazing friends why would you go through so much pain why do you care for us why are you so amazing why why why why why why
but i couldn’t escape the fact that god does love me so much that he’d give his only son for me and he’d go through that suffering and seperation and make that sacrifice for me (and you and you and you) and it was just like a big hug an amazing thought feeling emotion. so i was standing there barely able to sing through the tears just feeling so loved and secure and it was awesome i haven’t felt that good in gods presence for a while so it was a homecoming of sorts. i think things are going to get a lot better here on in.

(sorry for lack of punctuation, but i was too “in the flow” to stop and punctuate and now i don’t feel like it.)


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