it doesn’t take a whole day

Posted: February 4, 2008 in life
Tags: , , , ,

so its been a day that has got better as it’s gone along. i woke up to a lovely sunrise outside my window, then there was rain and a long walk to uni, and then there was class. and soon there will be myt and coffee and a bus back to dundee, possibly for the last time.

we talked in church yesterday about pressing in and pressing on and right now thats pretty appropriate, i am having to remember that things do keep on going, that they get better or worse, but mostky they just keep. they’re not static, but they are present. i was really not in the mood for drama last week, for starting again, in what seemed like the same slog, but then… well, life happened. all 6 kids came along and were genuinely excited to be there. and that made me excited to be there. so that was god. i meant to write good, but really, i guess it was God. so i’m heading back to newport for one last visit.. unless i have a reason to go back again before the middle of march (not long now) then the next time i go home to see my parents it’ll be in edinburgh. i have issues with letting go of the flat i lived in last year so i think it might be harder than i’m anticipating to let go of my old house. but thats life too.

 i have all these ideas buzzing round my head for things i can do and make and oh, i just checked my results.. i guess they were right when they said we’d be getting a boot up the bum about how hard we work for our classes…

anyway… i plan to make lots of things this year. i just bought a book (not that i can really afford that) called making things for kids. its a good book.. its taught me to french knit already.. and i might make a knit bag or a t-shirt. or a hoody scarf thing..

who knows

 i am really enjoying listening to foy vance right now. i think thats one of the most enjoyable parts of my day.. sitting just listening to hope..

yeah, so pressing in/on. cu this year is going to be really interesting.. i really have to work at being part of cu supporting the committee and balancing the rest of my life with that. as well as pressing on with this degree… i need to work so much harder. i have so much reading to do, i really want to do as well as i can, and at the moment, i’m not. at the moment i’m just getting by, i’m not excelling, i’m not pushing myself, i’m just… floating on by. i also have a lot of pressing in to do with the big G. i just don’t pursue that relationship with the passion it deserves. the other week at church john made a comment: if you’re not hearing the voice of God, do you think you’ll still be a christian in ten years time?

man, thats a scary question. in ten years i’l be approaching 31, and i hope i still cling to God. i hope that i have a much stronger relationship with him than i do now. i hope that i will have had experiences that make me cling ever stronger. like in lamentations, I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all – oh, how well I remember – the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. it’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. (Lamentations3.19-27)

thats what i hope for, that even if i have to taste those ashes and swallow that poison that i’ll be hanging on in for God, trusting and hoping forever.

i was reading lamentations at work last night and so i had my bible out (its ok, i was on link, we’re actively encouraged to read when you’re link cos there’s nothing else to do.. as long as you look after any patrons that wander into the foyer at any point…). anyway, one of my friends picked it up and was reading it and after some chat about evolution and dinosaurs and stuff said she wanted to read the whole bible. soon. so i’m gonna get her a copy of the message cos she wouldn’t take mine. hmmmphf. but its just quite exciting. cos we don’t talk about christianity all that much, but she has some other christian friends too and most of the folk i work with know i am a christian, though don’t always act it- something i know i can and will work on…

its just good to see that kinda thing happen.

i was praying during our 24/5 prayer week and i was really struck by how many different things there are going on in our city for the lost, all these different missions and events and just exciting stuff..

on another note i had a really good lunch- greek yoghurt, honey, banana and kiwi… yum yum yum. i think i might need to make a sandwich before myt though… cos i won’t eat again after that til i get home at 10pm.. gah! long time.

anyhoo.. think its about time i finished writing and did sometjing else slightly more productive.. :)

have a lovely monday.. or week.  


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