a letter

Posted: March 6, 2008 in life, love, musings on life and death, people, religion/relationship
Tags: ,

man, i’ve been in a bit of a bitch of a mood the last while.. and i don’t know why.

so i’m apologising.

there’s been a lot of sadness and darkness in the world recently. a friend of mine just lost her dad, which is hard. so hard i can’t even begin to imagine.

 there are things that happen in this world that i really can’t understand. that i just struggle with

 but then there are beautiful things, like the smoothies in zest and eating vegetable stew made from a beautiful pot and chatting with people you haven’t seen for ages… so i guess it all balances out in the end.

and then there are features that you’ve never used before (like this ‘more’ malarky… how exciting, no?)  and meetings that last a meagre 25 minutes, just time to get your tea made and drunk.. how exciting!

more than that there is this knowledge that God has greatness planned for each of us in some way. and that we should be excited about that, we shouldn’t turn our backs on him, or turn away from repentence. Kmac and i were talking about hebrews 6 today and how scary it is that we can actually choose to turn away from repentence and so from salvation, because i think the two go hand in hand, but if we follow the plans set out for us then we can be the people God called us to be. we can have so many blessing rained on us that we’re afloat in them and the word will anchor us. will keep our roots in the soil. we’ll be like mature trees at the edge of water. that just makes me so excited…

i just know there is so much to experience in this life, so many cool things, that we’ll never see them all fully but we can just get a glimpse.. just this tiny slice of heaven, this tiny bit of Gods blessings raining on us. i get that when i see my friends doing things they love, when i watch people perform, when i see someone achieve something they didn’t think they could, when flowers are in bloom, when people eat and are satisfied, when conversation flows, when there is peace in a room, when there is satisfaction in a relationship, when a hug feels right.

when you see someone again after a long time apart.

(the last two sundays) when i’ve just spent really good quality time with my dad.

when you know someone so well that just one word, look, phrase, inflection can make your heart ache for them or rejoice with singing over them.

when you realise that God is and always has been looking out over the situation and knows where its going and how that has to happen and thats ok.

i just pray that i’ll be really satisfied in who God has made me and how i can articulate that. that i’ll be able to meet the challenges He has for me with grace. that i’ll love as He loves me. lord let me be real.

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