God can make something beautiful out of us

Posted: September 7, 2008 in everything else, life
Tags: , , ,

i’ve got two books that i really like. both by brennan manning, but one is called ‘the ragamuffin gospel’ and the other, ‘the ragamuffin gospel : visual edition’.

and there’s a page (that’s almost fallen out) that says

 

God can make something beautiful out of us

 

and it faces an image of an old (loose interpretable term -he’s older than i am-) man with a beard, in extreme close-up. something about the combination of text, image and the page background just strikes a chord with me. it just leapt out when i was finishing off some tidying of my room, i opened the book and that was the page that i kept seeing.

God has certainly started a work in me, there have been a lot of challenges over the past year, and the last 3-4 months in particular; challenges to grow into who God would have me be, His perfect timing in rounding off my sharp corners, His quiet voice in reminding me that i don’t need things to be happy. my idleness in seeking His face, His voice, His word. I admit, i’m not great at being disciplined, but i really need to get myself into good habits, start budgetting, start living more frugally, enjoying the simple things of life, enjoying being a child of God. though all that is easier said than done.(i guess in some ways this picture sums it up. in others its just funny what i’m willing to let a 7yr old do to me.)

it’s been raining a lot. sometimes i like that, and sometimes it is just too wet. but right now, i feel like i need the rain to wash me clean. to wash away the attitudes that can so easily take hold of my heart. i needed washed in R, i just wasn’t prepared to accept that for a long time. I like to hide from things, but God has this way of making you face them. rain.

i’m sitting listening to the cobalt season. (still don’t have the new album. will need to work that and some more foy vance musicality into my budget… boo)and thinking that i am very fortunate to have the life i do, to be as privileged as i am, to have been brought up in a christian home with parents who love and respect God and each other. with a sister that i do get on with, to be given the chance of a great education, to be able to live in a flat independently, to have the means to support myself, to have great friends and a good community around me. to be accepted for who i am. i know i’m not always easy to get on with and i antagonise others, but you’ve all stuck with me.

wo, i think that the lateness of the hour has made me … not sure how best to describe the mood i feel enveloping me. possibly a big factor is tiredness.

it’s been a mental week. i was in st andrews in wednesday (a 5 hour round trip. oh joy) to say bye for a time to a girl who was one of my best friends at school. it was nice to catch up with folk again, see how they’re all getting on, but also a bit strange. its part of my history and i enjoyed myself. i do miss my school friends. but i’m a horrible person when it comes to communication.

thursday i tidyied my room and then headed through to edinburgh, because on friday we were headed to newport for a funeral of a family friend who died suddenly last thursday. it was a good service, but really really hard. just such a shock. anything like that just makes me think of any other funeral i’ve ever been to- and the burial was at balmerino, and i haven’t been out there in ages- its where nicky is buried. so the combination of factors plus the travelling made friday pretty hard.

we even went out for dinner with old uni/navs friends of my parents friday night, which was a little surreal, but nice enough in its own way.

saturday it was atholl’s 50th surprise lunch. my family aren’t really big on the whole gathering everyone together thing- neither side actually, so it was nice to see everyone. but the result of not gettng together often is that we don’t really know each other all that well. but in any case it was fun. i had my 9 year old cousin rough and tumbling all morning before i got formalled up. we got two emails to remind us it would be a formal wear occasion… clearly we’re the scruffy sherriffs.

and then i came back to glasgow. set up at church this morning, lunch with nomy and tea with jenni (aunt). so that was lovely. but not exactly restful and now i am shattered.

but i think the highlight of today was when debbie and i saw fergus mcwilliam on tv. it was awesome. :)

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