more grist for the malady mill.

Posted: June 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags:

well. we made it through a whole week of special days. and then a week of cleaning and planning and leaving, and now… i have four half days of facilities, and i’m done.

I actually finished out the year, and it was a good year. It was a really good year.
probably one of the toughest years of my life to date, definitely one of the most challenging, one where I grew the most. i think i’m slowly becoming more and more the person  that i can be, i’m slowly living up to, and living out of, my potential. i’m engaging in more of the tough questions, willing to have the conversations, even when I’m not sure I have any answers. it’s a really exciting  time. scary as all crap though.

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i’m so grateful for this year, for the lessons i’ve learned, the people who have been willing to teach me them, and for the relationships we’ve built. my interns may not always have been what i wanted, but go the most part, they provided what i needed, what we needed in order to make this year work. I have a lot of things to change up. It will not be the same as before, we will grow.

the kids too, the fact that they were, and still are, willing to trust me in any capacity means more than I can adequately express.

we were at the fourth annual boat launch this morning, which was really exciting, and i was hanging out with my kids and some friends. ireyon feel asleep on my lap, (she’s in 8th grade.) and jordan turned to me and said “you can’t leave. what will you do without your kids? no, wait, what will your kids do without you- that’s the better question.” and while that makes me reluctant to ever want to leave, i know that i am not irreplaceable, that someone else will come along and do as good, if not better, a job as i have these past months and years. but it’s good to know that i have a place here at least for a while longer.

i was hanging out with a friend, and as I left to walk to the train, i stopped to get a coffee. it was crowded, and so when I was asked for my name, suzi, he asked how to spell it too: ‘ess you..?’ ‘zed eye.’ apparently, i kept my pronunciation just to give myself away. short, but sweet interactions. the guy at the cash register took my money and asked ‘is that yahweh?’ about the four letters I have tattooed on my wrist. when i said yes, he asked ‘why?’ ‘uh, because i believe in God and i think this is one of his best names’ ‘but why not in Hebrew?’ ‘… i don’t know the Hebrew.’ i was stumped for a moment, and would have loved to continue the conversations, but the shop was busy and i had a train to catch.

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Comments
  1. suz says:

    i misquoted jordan, he actually said ‘you can’t ever leave’.

    i’m not going anywhere, just in case was getting worried. i know at least one person. thought that i was trying to say i was leaving in this post… i’m not.

  2. Lizzie says:

    good. because you would be missed. on both sides of the river.

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