on joy

Posted: August 4, 2013 in life
Tags: , , , , ,

these thoughts have been mulling around in my head for the last week or so. this is where i’m leaning into.

i wrote that last post amidst wrestling with the consequences of working with kids and teens who have never experienced loving boundaries. i wrote it from a place of scared frustration. and it is all true, these are the things that i am struggling with and learning from the most right now. but there are also so many things that are cause for great joy and celebration.

one ‘something’, that i’ve realised this week, is that i have gotten to be here for the long run. it is an incredible honour and privilege to be part of these kids lives on a regular basis. to know that the majority have seen the whole of me, that we’ve built relationships of trust, and that they understand that i’m doing what i can. it’s nowhere near perfect, but i’ve been given this gift of relational ministry time for this period of my life, and i love it.

it’s been four years, and i still love what i do. i think that says something. that even in the midst of the frustrations, and although there are days that i can i think of a million other things i’d way rather be doing, at the end of each day, i know that i’m taking steps toward creating safety for a group of kids who need it. and i’m getting to know them. and they’re getting to know me, and so see my heart, and hopefully something of what the kingdom looks like.

i was encouraged these past weeks by friends, and interns. i had sent out an email expressing some of the ways that i was being challenged and stretched this summer, and one of the responses allowed me to breathe again. it helped open up my lungs, gave me a chance to see grace, to feel justice. to move with mercy.

i think a lot about what to say to these kids, and so often i get caught up in the rush of all the other stuff we need to do, but this week, i took the time out to really talk to them, about the way that i’ve experienced Gods love, and the way that we’re seeking to show that to them.

living a life of mercy, walking the path of peace, generating justice, seeking grace? these are things that i hope i never forget to do. i hope that i will always seek Jesus face in the faces before me.

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