Archive for the ‘musings on life and death’ Category

it been a nice day, not really done much (ie was still in my pajamas til about 3…) but its been good.. i had guacamole and cottage cheese for lunch it was yummy yummy. and then i registered at the library (bit of a pointless exercise since they really didn’t have the extensive selection of books i was hoping for -shame on you glasgow city council, shame!- nor any exciting crafting ones either), but that was fun cos the guy that registered me was (fit/hot/shug/foreign/delete as appropriate) (man, i can’t type well today, i don’t know whats wrong with me, i keep having to delete and retype. it’s horrendous. i know i don’t like to capitalise properly but i do like to spell and have at least passable grammar. guh.) so that was my excitement for today.

i am going to housegroup tonight for the first time in a while- it’s gonna be great- even if we are just mostly handing out flyers.. :) oh yeah, you’re all invited to my church sunday for an easter service and/or a BBQ lunch… but i won’t be there.. sorry!

i’m heading home this weekend for my mum’s birthday- though i’ll miss her actual day sadly cos thats on friday and i’m working friday evening… she’s having a party next saturday (29th) for folks, but i can’t go to that either cos i’m working that day. its a sad situation, but we’ll do something while i’m home for a couple days. though it will be a bit of a strange weekend- easter weekend, but also four years (on saturday) since Nicky died. yup, another march comes and goes and i won’t go through it without mentioning nick at least once- check the archives, every year, without fail since 2004, in march and/or april. but i guess this is just one of my ways of remembering her.

anyhoo. weird- i just noticed how the arrow cursor (and clicky hand too) has a little shaow under it, so it looks more like its floating.. how bizarre.

i’m quite enjoying dashboard confessional today.

its been a while since i thought about music really. how it can influence your thoughts and mood and feelings.. but i think it does. we watched high fidelity the other night- awesome movie, awesome book, great soundtrack (though the cd is a bit disappointing)- and john cusak has a great line at the start: did i listen to pop music because i was depressed, or was i depressed because i listened to pop music? (shoulder shrug, who knows expression) but its true- people do get profoundly influenced by what they’re listening to…

just read “twilight” by stephenie meyer (too many ‘e’s in that name for my liking..) which was fun.. one of the girls at youth theatre insisted i read it. it was fun, actually. i haven’t read “young adult” or however its branded now, fiction in a while, i forgot how much i like it. nothing is too weird for that. and yet its safe- there’s no graphic sex or violence or gore, its just a great story… i love to read, i love to empathise with another character become someone else for a wee while, so it was fun to just do nothing but read for a morning… reading and cooking are some of my favourite pastimes- so books that have food or recipes in them? even better. but mostly i like people. and talking.

on that i should probably go do something else… :)


man, i’ve been in a bit of a bitch of a mood the last while.. and i don’t know why.

so i’m apologising. (more…)

shooting dogs

Posted: February 21, 2008 in musings on life and death, people
Tags: , ,

joe: who’re they?

francoise(hutu): they’re tutsi

you asked me wher God was in all of this suffering. He’s here, suffering with them. His love is here, stronger than i have ever felt it before.

you know, i wanted to make a difference… sometimes i catch myself think, well done joe, you’re starring in your own oxfam ad.

-how many ‘acts of genocide’ does it take to make a Genocide?

-i’m not authorised to answer that…

i don’t think i can describe this film to you- it is the best and the worst film i have ever seen.. so much evil in the world, so many lies. but also such hope. hope being the only thing that endures, that burns.

its been a long week, full of highs and lows, my friends back home just had a baby, whilst other friends have been bereaved, losing a great friend. its been a strange week, seems to be going by in a bit of a blur, and its not over yet.

anyway. i need my sleep,so i shall leave you.

right, this might take a while and i’m not sure i’m going to get it all done in a oner- especially since i just realised i have reading for tomorrow to do and its already 10pm.
however, i owe keir a few answers…
to find out what the heck i’m talking about check out
this and also this cos although its a fair bit of reading, its the background to it all.

so, i’m sitting here listening to ben folds five radio on pandora and trying to work out how to respond to all of this…
(just in case you were wondering, the song thats on just now is by a band called blackfield and is titled lullaby)

first off, i just want to say that i don’t like being labeled. i guess its me trying to stay myself, unique, not tarred by someone else’s brush, but i guess it’s going to happen. so, i’m objecting to being called a “fundamental christian” since i don’t think its fair to group people together like that- my flatmate has discovered that she really doesn’t like the term “ned” so this is similar. did that make sense? i’m not even sure.

i am human, completely and uttely, there’s no way i’m going to deny that, and so, as a human, i am open to human fears and doubts and am not always convinced by the most rational thing, or by the thing i know to be true, i can and will doubt the earth i stand on, i will be plagued with fears about myself, the way i treat others, the way i respond to others- even today, my self-belief was shaken, i thought i was a fairly nice person who made time and space for people, but today, in one situation, i seemed not to be, someone else got really uncomfortable and felt really unwelcomed and that hurt me so much. that i could make someone feel so uncomfortable. i’m still not sure it was all my fault, but i felt like the smallest piece of crap ever. i apologised and everything, but even now i am still shocked by the whole situation. if i can be so shaken by one thing like that, what makes me sure of anything?
i believe that the Bible contains the truth of how and why our world was created. we had a grill-a-christian night at j-hill on monday night and dan answered a lot of these sorts of questions really well. but i need to know for myself. the bible, continually points us to Jesus. all these accounts in the New Testament (NT) were written in the 30 or so years after Jesus’ death and resurrection. these are all, primary, eyewitness accounts. they are letters and gospels all written about this one man, whose existence is verified by other historians too. there is no where that Jesus’ body could have been taken to without discovery, there is no reason for the disciples to have lived and died in such ways for a falsehood, there is nothing that i can say to make anyone believe what i believe, but in so many cases, there is no way that people can’t be gripped by what they read in the Bible.

no, not everyone has access to a Bible, not everyone will hear about Jesus in their lifetime, but i believe in a Just God, one who will not condemn without reason. if you hear and do not believe, thats completely different from never hearing.

i’m sorry that its been two weeks or so since i started this, but i’ve just been so busy and unable to thibk and i keep thinking, if i just find this new passage in le bible or this book or that commentary, but really what i think we need to hear is the words of duke special- last night i nearly died but i woke up just in time. i hope i’m awake and that you are all awakened.

i hope, eilidh, that you don’t mind me reproducing part of your email here, but it just made so much sense… so, thanks: “Suzi, I was reading your blog and Keir’s comments, I don’t know how I’d respond to that, quite challanging things. A couple of things I thought though, God is so much bigger than your doubts and questions, I think He uses those to teach you. In fact I think that’s true of any belief system and Keir doesn’t seem to be there. When you think you have the answer then you give yourself no room to learn, to doubt forces you to explore and gain a deeper understanding, it’s a necessity, not a weakness in faith. Faith is not another word for irrational belief, faith is the action of commiting to a belief that logic has only carried so far. Keir’s faith is an atheistic faith but it is a faith. Logic, science, the world does not lead to atheism or theism, if anything it leads to agnosticism. He doesn’t seem willing to challange his faith at all, something which I think all Christians are forced to do if they take their faith seriously. These are just a few, not very coherent, thoughts. Don’t be discouraged by what he’s saying, like you said in your blog, it’s not up to you, only God can work in him.”
(eilidh, i love you btw)

so, i’m sorry if this isn’t what anyone was hoping for, i’m not entirely sure what i was aiming for when i started, but maybe its been helpful, maybe not.

this week has been good. and bad. but mostly good.
i made a cd for my sister and sent it off to her, but i don’t think she’ll get it for another week or two cos she’s on spring break. i hope she does get it and enjoys it. quite a lot of work went into that…

hmmm… monday was a cu social, which was great fun, we went for dinner at southpark (ie mexico) and then kersland (america).

placement this week was-honestly- long. tuesday i did lots of admin stuff, wednesday i just collected materials and did test runs of stuff.. nothing very exciting. thursday we had a meeting with lex, the guy who creates our publicity stuff re the next art workshop series- creative sensations! that was fun. then a pub lunch and more sorting and admin for friday workshops. friday the workshops went well, they were enjoyed by everyone although, interestingly, the older teachers understood and took on the ideas better than the four students on placement… saturdays HAC workshops were really good, the kids got well involved and interested, so thursdays meeting should be good.

wednesday night i had housegroup and i really didn’t want to go. i just felt that i’d had a shit day and wasn’t in the mood. i felt i should go, but i didn’t want to. at any rate, in the end i went and i did have a really good night. we did a little thing on the five-step prayer guide for church, so that was cool, just nice and simple, not too hard to follow. and then we all prayed for each other. this was proper prayer… individually, we all sat in the “hotseat” and recieved prayer. it was mega. there were several points where i couldn’t stay in position, i felt this like heavyness come over my body and just comfort and love going from me. while we were praying for jenny, a few of us laid hands on her and it was whilst doing that and praying that i felt that what i was saying was not my own words, but the holy spirit, and he was working through me. it was just really powerful. it got me crying a fair few times.

personally, the best part of it was when the group were praying for me, i told them that i was having a tough time with a few things but mostly with a situation. one of my friends is getting married soon-ish. he’s a guy i’ve known for a year and a half. although it feels longer. anyway, when first we met, i thought there was a potential that this could develop into a relationship- more than friends- and there were occasions where that might have happened, however it never did. i’m very comfortable with him, but i decided about a year ago that it would be stupid to try and have a relationship with him. he’s not a christian and i’m not sure we would really work as boyfriend and girlfriend…. anyway, that head decision was made and that was fine, we continued as friends. he had his heart broken more than once that year, but then he fell in love with this girl that he’s known for a long time. and has always half loved. she’s lovely. they are lovely together. but i can’t get out of my head this insane weird jealousy thing. i guess i never really got over all this half-baked infatuation. anyway, i kinda explained all this and then they prayed for me. and it was like a weight off my shoulders. knowing that these people care. and that they understand.
jonny said that he’d had a feelingthat something like this might come up. very comforting to know that God is in control and prewarning people perhaps.
anyway, it was really good and i know that its not al going to happen at once, but its getting much better. i think because its been confronted and dealt with.

so that was cool. the flat party on friday was amazing. it was chocolatey and alcoholic and banterlicious. val came along and i haven’t seen her in ages so that was absolutely awesome. we had a really good chat, all about boys and life and stuff. it was so good to talk to her. shes goingto come to the vineyard with me some day. and make me a book. i’m very excited.

today at church colin swopped me a defaced penny for a piece of chewing gum.. the swopping has started. catherine exchanged the gum for a pen, so colin has to now swop that for something even better… exciting, non?

this afternoon i ate beans on toast and watched “ray”. it was really good. really really good. tonight i am going to go and watch music and lyrics with some of my girly friends.. yay!

in other news, my friend bob’s ex girlfriend has turned up at my work.. how strange. we met once while they were dating, now i don’t know whether to bring it up or not… hmm.

uhm.. i think thats everything that has been happening recently- OhYeah! Regina Spektor at the qm tomorrow night!!! woot!!!


Posted: February 4, 2007 in musings on life and death

i’m done.
read this article.

for some reason, it really just touched me. i think there is so much going on that i’m not really processing stuff at the moment. so, where today was really good, it was also a bit pants and one of my friends is feeling a bit rubbish and that just sunk in, and the fact that people i love have lost people and i’ve lost people and it all just sort of came together in the five minutes while i was reading that and after.

placement has been really hard work this week. hard to try and make friends and to be yourself and get to know people and fit into workshops and just to be… but its been a good learning curve. i hate admin stuff. but i’m going to have to deal with it. as long as i still get to work with people, i will be content. even better, if someone wanted to do all the organising and i could design the workshops and then run them.

i don’t know if this is true, but i might be feeling worse about nicky this year than before. this march will be 3 years since she died. and its never been “easy” but it has been less prominent these last years. maybe because i don’t see the folk who knew her and me then as much… but recent events have just brought that hurt back.

i think its going to be really strange going back to spring harvest this year. the last time i went, the first time i had ever been, was just after nicky died, while i was still kindof entangled in the whole gareth mess, so it was a cleansing and healing experience. i don’t think i directly told anyone about either of these events, however, the times there were good.

i bought an album today called the yorkhill sessions which is a creation from the sessions Jo and Yvonne did in yorkhill over the last year or so with 4word and a few of the kids in the yorkhill sick childrens hospital. its a great cd, really honest in places and hurting and raw but hopeful too. and i wish that this was available for more children. i was speaking to jenny today about her day indundee yesterday, and she was saying that its always hard because her dad died in ninewells. which is where nicky died too, which i really thank god for because she had been so far away before that, and i would have hated for her to go so far away. but it has to be hard.

i watched elizabethtown today and i really really enoyed it. yes its all about death but its also all about hope, about second chances and about being real with people, being yourself and taking chances. i need to learn to do that more often, take a chance on someone.

i decided that tonight i would make a mixtape(erm.. cd) for my sister, back up my music and do other useful things, but guess what.. i’ve not. maybe later.. i have tomorrow off… so its relaxation time for suzi. yippee!

guten nacht.

you should listen to “be still my heart” by the postal service.
ok, so this might be a bit of a confessional and a bit out of the blue, but what the hey. i think it should be said at some point.
you never know this could be a brand new start, i might actually let go of this now.
let me tell you a story.

this story begins with a girl. just your average scottish girl, not entirely sure if the faith she professes to is real, and being 16, is full of insecurities about herself and how people, boys (especially boys), girls, anyone sees her. one day, she recieves in her inbox a comment from a stranger who thinks she is “interesting”. this piques her curiousity, how can a stranger think she is interesting- especially as the only evidence they have to go on is a pretty old msn spaces profile. nonetheless, the comment is there, so she replies, “why? and, by the way thats an old profile, i’ve changed a bit ;)” a conversation ensues, where it comes out that this stranger thinks she is the sort of person he would like to get to know. it also comes out that this stranger (lets call him -yes, him- Garry) is 29 years old. this doesn’t put her off however, lets face it, an older man thinks she’s interesting? who would give that up?

so the conversations progress, they text and email and instant message all the time, she begins to phone him, they talk most nights for an hour or so, discussing all sorts of things, aliens, religion, drugs, even sex. she tells him she is a virgin. he seems surprised. he still likes her though, he wants her to go to his house (just about an hours drive from her house) for the weekend, where they can drink and play strip chess and fall over. yes, really.

after a month or two Garry begins to ask when he can meet her, until now she’s always been slightly evasive, even she recognises that there may be some element of danger in this, however, she does want to meet him, he’s the most interesting person she’s met in a long time. they eventually arrange to meet up one weekend, when she has to be in school anyway, so she meets him near there. they go for coffee and she discovers that its really easy to talk to and flirt with this guy, this damaged person who has never really followed his dreams, who was hurt by his parents, was damaged by finding out he was adopted and had to learn to love and trust again, yet, there is still nervousness. he offers to drive her home, and it takes a few nudgings before she accepts. she doesn’t want to tell her mum, in her heart she knows that this isn’t exactly a good situation. that afternoon, however she takes her courage in both hands and tells her mum. but she lies. she says that this guy is friends with her friends cousin. and that her friend went with her too. not that that makes it that much better. her mum is still worried about her and she tells one lady from her church, a trained councellor.

seperately from her mum talking to the councellor, another lady (shona, lets call her) who knows the family talks to the councellor about the girl. shona is known for being gifted with the holy spirit, she often is blessed in different ways. anyway, shona has a dream about the girl, in which she is given a word “predator”. shona believes that there is a predatory force at work around the girl. shona tells the councellor, who passes this on to the mum. mum and dad discuss this and eventually, a few days later decide to talk to the girl about it.

during this same week, one of the girls friends dies. this friend, charlotte (as good a name as any) had cysitic fibrosis, and had had it ever since she was born. charlotte had been extremely lucky to make it as long as she did. the mum had gone to see charlotte and her mother and had told them about the girl and garry. charlotte was upset at this and told the mum not to letthe girl do that, because “she was far too beautiful”. a day or two after that conversation, charlotte died. this was an emotional time for the girl, it was a monday morning when she found out and on the wednesday evening her parents decided to talk to her about the situation with garry. being good christian parents, they emphasised the fact that they thought it was the devil tempting the girl. this was hard for the girl to hear, she was upset about charlotte and needing the support garry was giving her, and also confused, she didn’t feel she was enough of a christian to be worth bothering the devil. that talk didn’t really resolve anything. the girl still made plans to meet garry again, this time with her friends around. the night of charlottes funeral. unsurprisingly her friends and garry didn’t really get on that well. too much of an age gap, cultural differences… everything. the relationship cooled slightly over the next few weeks, but there was still almost daily contact.

the girl and her mum went to spring harvest that easter, about two weeks after charlotte died. during that week, the girl wasn’t expecting to be able to get access to her email, but she still told garry to email her. she had a good time that week, making new friends, going to different talks and actually, for once really beginning to experience God. she made one friend, sam, who she learnt a lot from, how being different was ok- you didn’t have to follow the crowd. he was important in helping her to be ok with herself. even if he didn’t realise it. one night at the youth services, the teachers at the front asked people to come forward for prayer. the girl, realising she had to do something, went forward. she was prayed over and her mind was, for once at peace. that night, in her fold out sofa bed, she really prayed. she asked God to look after the situation with garry, to be in control. if it was his will that she be an instrument of truth in his life, then so be it, but if not, that was ok too.

in the car on the way home, she put on a del amitri cd, which started with the track “be my downfall”. her mum asked how garry was. she answered, honestly, “i don’t know”. when she got home, there were no emails from him. she had recieved no texts from him. during the week, she had deleted all his texts and erased his numbers- that was how God was in control, if he contacted her, then it was for a reason. she heard from him once more, over a year later, she got an email through, a generic quiz type email that you pass round all your contacts. she didn’t reply- what was there to say?

the last time she saw him was a year, almost to the day since the last time she had met up with him. he was walking along the main road near her school, she was on a study period and at the shop. they walked past each other. once he was past and looking in a window she recognised him. the experience shocked her. so badly she was shaking for about ten minutes, like seeing a ghost. to this day she doesn’t even know if it was him or if he recognised her…. for a time, such important figures to each other and then… nothing.

what else is there to say?

calling all angels

Posted: January 13, 2007 in musings on life and death

well, its been an interesting two days. little frustrated at how much i have to take home to glasgow and how little space i actually have. i am so so so not looking forward to moving out of my room, ever.. so much junk. unreal.
anyway. today was nice.mostly just on my own, with my dog for company. was making tea for my parents- their christmas gift. so i made a fragrant thai green curry and a fresh cocnut, tomato and cucumber relish-y thing. oh and polenta cake for after. it was nice. they were off at the team leaders day all today.

yesterday evening i got a call from dawn, to let me know that Bob’s dad had just died. he had a heart attack. unexpected. nick- bobs brother is still in china. amy- bobs sister has two small boys who aren’t going to know their grandpa as they get older than this.
I barely knew mr rafferty, but he seemed like a really nice guy, he loved his son, was at pretty much every gig taking photos. anyway. its very sad. and i feel for bob. but its funny, dawn is so concerned about me- needs to make sure i’m ok- i’ve not been bereaved, not this time anyway- that was october, when granny died. anyway.

i’m not sure i fully worked through all the emotions around granny dying- everything just happened so fast. there was so much going on. mum got a bit upset yesterday, she still has things to sort out and i think she does get a bit lonely being in the house on her own- both meggie and i have moved out and dad quite often has to go on business trips and shes just found herself a bit cut loose from her old way of life, including granny and pharmacy- which she has officially retired from now… how scary.

i was just thinking today, what would i do if i lost my dad? i really feared for a while when jenni was meeting me to tell me about granny that it might have been mum or dad and they’d been bitten on the boat or something, i was so scared. and it made me miss them so much more while they were away. i never usually miss them this much, but i was scared and alone and grieving. and i know that this isn’t nice, but its true – i don’t think i would have been as sad if it had been my other gran- that is such a horrible thing to say, but i think its only because i don’t know them that well. whereas granny was part of my weekly life in newport. i picked her up in the little yellow car on a sunday, mum and i took her shopping in marks on a wednesday when i was home and free, i teased her, i laughed with her, i got frustrated with her, i just knew her as well as a granddaughter could. and ok i wasn’t the best granddaughter, but she accepted me as i was.

and i can’t imagine what my mum went through and what bob and amy and nick are going through, i don’t want to lose my dad ever. and i know it will happen one day, but i don’t want to think about it, because it would mean my mum was on her own. and i don’t know how jan copes. its been over a year since she lost iain, since jules and jenny lost their dad and i don’t know how they cope with it. but i know that god is in control and we just have to take it one day at a time and pray for the safety of our loved ones.

i was siting in my room trying to get myself motivated to do some work (yup, didn’t happen) and i got an email, so i thought i’d go through y emails, delete some maybe.. anyway, i came across all the ones i’d saved from one of my best friends in the last few years of school. i love my friends from school, but me and jen were really close. i think i told her just about everything. she knew how i felt about nicky, mostly about gareth and everything else in between. we would just send each other these random emails for no reason other than we had nothing else to do. with roz it wasn’t quite the same, we were really close, but she was more of the long rambly email type and much as i love her, she’s not jen. the saddest thing is that even back then, there was so much angst, gill was being needy and didn’t know how to tell us. i don’t really want to drag up old dirt, its really not worth it, but i think we all got really hurt by gill and jonny and i’m not saying it was their fault, i think it was two way. i know i didn’t make enough effort. at the time i was just so wrapped up in myself that i didn’t really want to get all that involved and have to put in so much effort. but i should have and not doing it hurt all of us i think.

even though there were bad times and we grew apart, i still love these guys, and i spent new year with them, and it was different but it was good. i still find it takes us a while to get back into the swing of it. i feel sad that we’ve grown apart so much over the year and a half we’ve all left school. both roz and jen kinda spent last year drinking as much as possible and doing all those student things. which is cool, but because i, although being a student too, haven’t been drinking til i puke, or going out with lots of people or whatever, i feel we’ve lost some of our common ground. i just haven’t seen them that much, and i supose i don’t make it any better by not coming home or visiting much, but i guess i just wanted to invest in glasgow. it has been, since first year, my home. i don’t want to feel that i’m losing these relationships that did mean so much to me, but i don’t want to compromise myself.
hopefully it’ll all work out. i’m not giving up yet anyway.

ramble ramble ramble.

well, Happy New Year….
do hope people had a lovely hogmanay and are enjoying the start of this lovely new year.
a few resolutions:
1- to be more honest with people generally, and myself i guess
2- to eat less chocolate and more fruit (yeah, yeah, but i’ll do it.)

er, thats all i thought of so far.
oh, but this is important and not really a new years resolution so much as a resolution- to do my best to spend 10 minutes min every day studying scripture etc. thats the plan.

just been perusing the old posts on this- i was quite open here for a while. there were things i hid, but mostly i wasopen. so maybe this should be part of that. i know less people read this than maybe once did and thats a good thing too i guess, there shouldn’ really be any censorship. also i changed the url recently, so some people will have fallen off the map- ie my mum. not that i mind her reading this but.. i guess i do. i guess i’ll just have to email them more often so they know whats going on…

in that spirit of open-ness, still unsure as to who might ever read this, might give you a little run down of my year. no pictures cos this is the wrong computer, and i’m not that great with the whole photoblogging thing, but hey ho. so this year… well, strted off in st andrews with friends to see in the new year, january to march was lots of work at uni, we had team project to plan and deliver, which was awesome but hard work. march through may was placement, assistant cooking at camp, uni work, assignments, organising a ceilidh… june was more ceilidh prep, my 19th birtjhday, a bit of time to relax- but not much. july brought more challenges- two camps, one as a group leader of five awesome girlseach with so much spirit and wildness and love and compassion and need. the other as the cheif cook for a camp i’d ben a camper at the year before. the time before that second camp was spent planning, ordering, crying, healing. spent some time in the new flat generally being a bum and not really living for anyone but me. too much wine, a ciggarette or ten are all not good ways to spend your summer if you’re me. so, september saw an attempt at a fresh start, but without the vital ingredient- reliance on god, was trying to make it happen all on my own. freshers week, MYT, a gig many things to do at uni were all encompassed in that semptember and october. sooo busy. meggie left for the states at the end of august. october, mum and dad went to peru, granny died, i went to see meggie in new york. had my bag stolen, lost money, had to traipse through the embassy just to spend more of other peoples money on a temporary passport, had a great weekend otherwise, saw RENT. came home, dived right back into the busy-ness of life. november, expired. more to do for MYT, more work, less busy-ness, pace slightly calmed. december, qiter,shopping, secret santa, a flat family christmas, which was beautiful. awesome carol service. an important decision. long conversations with b and nomes, good chat from sarah, the ginger german leaves the flat for 2 1/2 months- very sad. christmas.

brings us up to january 2007. where i do hope to do better. but not by myself. aim to live with and for the Lord. know it will be hard, but hope to be stretched, questioned, challenged. start reading velvet elvis with sarah. go on placement. really hope to be useful.

looks to be a good year though. this is the year that i turn 20. amazing how time flies.

wishing you every blessing for 2007…. :)