Archive for the ‘religion/relationship’ Category

yesterday was the last sunday of ordinary time before Lent, and, at least at sacred heart, that means CARNIVALE!

apologies- these are not the best pictures i’ve ever taken, but you get the general gist. it was so much fun. dancing in the face of death. :)

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your face

Posted: January 18, 2009 in life, people, religion/relationship
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i’ve been sitting here trying to work out what to write… how to explain my feelings to the few of you who read this… but they are a big jumble at the moment, so i’m afraid this will make only a little sense… 

yesterday evening i got baptised. it was the most scary, exhilirating, emotional, exciting, nerve-wracking thing i have done in a long time. and i’m glad i did it… so incredibly glad, but i can’t quite believe it happened… 

today’s been a mixture of feelings, glad to be at church and seeing folk, inexplicable moments of lowness, but mostly just contentness at where i am right now. 

a lot of what i said yesterday evening i wasn’t planning to say.. i had no real plan, just a whispered prayer that jesus would give me the right words… and apparently they were about my friends. one in particular who i haven’t seen properly in over a year, who, when i was 18 and had been struggling a lot with what being a christian actually meant, gave me a bible. even though she’s not a christian. along with some other stuff about my life. 

i’m not sure why that was the story that stuck out, there have been a lot and if you’ve read this blog for long enough (or care enough to read all the archives – the very early stuff is pretty awful…) you’ll have picked up a lot of my story. somehow theres a lot of it that i find really hard to vocalise. a lot of it is complicated and hard to explain, doesn’t really make sense to people outside the story and then there are bits that i just feel a need to keep. most of them are good, things that i need to remember, lessons that i learnt from that point in my journey. a few are things that i have learned from but that were hard lessons for me. lessons that broke me in different ways, that made me realise that i don’t have any strength on my own. and though if i told you all these stories, they probably wouldn’t mean that much to you, but they mean all the world to me. and they are the reason i am who i am. 

all that just to say that yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions… sad person that i am, i was still making a christmas present half an hour before i left for the church.. but i like to keep myself busy… and it was distracting enough that i wasn’t too worried and the excitement got more chance to take hold… though once we got there… butterflies galore. 

really, i just wanted to say thanks. thanks for being there. for your prayers. for being my friends, past present and future. you all have had a hand in how i’ve turned out, and you’re helping shape my future. in more ways than you (or i, sometimes) know. so thanks. 

 

just because i feel like i’m on a roll now, i wanted to tell you about about something i made when i was thinking (meditating?) about my upcoming-now-past baptism. i like making art, though i sometimes start something and then lose focus or inspiration. 

thart happened about a year ago. so i’ve been sitting with this canvas with a half started work on it. i ended up using that as the starting point for the fire image i created about baptism. 

it’s literally been reborn. the old has been created anew, the fire is burning out all the chaff, there is a cleansing and an obedience aspect to the image thats really important to me. as you might guess, being as it was inspired by baptism. new birth. fresh starts. 

INSIDE set

just thought i’d leave you with a wee image of the INSIDE set. Jimbo took the photo.. :)

now that we’ve established that.. 

i’m getting baptised on the 17th. (the scary decision i referred to in my last post) at 7pm. location partick baptist. 

why is it that when you try to cancel a phone contract some people are very helpful and others practically try to steam roller you into doing what they want. i am not having a good experience today. 

please god give me patience. 

oh and you’re all invited to my baptism.

hallelujah

Posted: December 26, 2008 in life, love, people, religion/relationship
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the watchnight service this year was about celebration. i think its the first watchnight service in a really long time that was actually about the season we are in..(that i’ve been to/ been a part of anyway..) that was about the celebration of the birth of this incredible little child that is the messiah of the world and the awe that the shepherds felt, the love that we should be extending to one another… i was just really glad to be there, though tired and probably overexcited about christmas the next morning… church on christmas morning was another lovely reminder of how we are all so different and yet we’re all part of the same family… so lets love the way we should, the way jesus does, the way he extolls us to. and like the unsung last verse of this years christmas no1, 

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch
I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I’ll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

lets all stand before the lord of the world with our lives lifted up and hallelujah on our tongues. 

merry christmas.

so, i really wasn’t sure what i thought about this.. and i’m still not sure cos i’m not there and i’ve no first hand experience of it, have heard both positive and negative things about it, but as my very wise flatmate said- you know, we can’t judge anyone else’s heart. its a personal thing i guess. i think i’d be uncomfortable with it and from watching the GodTV slots, i’m really turned off to it, but then, thats my problem.

i really do think its all about your heart in these things, i’d be open to the charismatic stuff, but i really haven’t been in that context.

i’m really excited about the things that are going to happen this summer and i reckon its going to really be a time where God grows me and teaches me all new things about myself and about Himself. I am quite scared and excited and nervous and excited and.. excited.. its all drawing closer amd closer… I’m going to be offline for the time i’m in Pakistan simply because we really don’t have internet out there, but doubtless there will be millions of stories to tell after that…

my computer keeps telling me there is a corrupt file.. i really don’t know what to do with that information…

emma wrote a little post the other day about easter.. and it prompted me to write this- which i had been thinking about for a while.

easter this year was weird. early, and just a bit.. rushed? i barely realised it was this weekend before it happened.. and its almost all over now, being easter monday and all that jazz. i guess i didn’t put much effort into it anyway either, so its probably at least partly my fault.. i worked on good friday (and do regret it- mostly because the show was so bad. none of us liked it who were working, and i just couldn’t believe they would have a show in such bad taste on on good friday.) but that was mostly because i didn’t really realise it was easter weekend when i put in my rota…

see how badly prepared i was for this season- and its the most important one in our calendar.

i think partly maybe it was also because of everything else going on around this time- mum turned 50 on friday, its been four years since nicky died on saturday, we had a birthday lunch out on sunday for mum, its all just a bit disjointed and weird. i’ve been reading jeremiah (as you’ll have gathered) and it is is so much about obedience, and i really haven’t been that obedient recently.. prayer is hard work.

this is all a bit disjointed.

 anyway, hope you all had a good easter.

it been a nice day, not really done much (ie was still in my pajamas til about 3…) but its been good.. i had guacamole and cottage cheese for lunch it was yummy yummy. and then i registered at the library (bit of a pointless exercise since they really didn’t have the extensive selection of books i was hoping for -shame on you glasgow city council, shame!- nor any exciting crafting ones either), but that was fun cos the guy that registered me was (fit/hot/shug/foreign/delete as appropriate) (man, i can’t type well today, i don’t know whats wrong with me, i keep having to delete and retype. it’s horrendous. i know i don’t like to capitalise properly but i do like to spell and have at least passable grammar. guh.) so that was my excitement for today.

i am going to housegroup tonight for the first time in a while- it’s gonna be great- even if we are just mostly handing out flyers.. :) oh yeah, you’re all invited to my church sunday for an easter service and/or a BBQ lunch… but i won’t be there.. sorry!

i’m heading home this weekend for my mum’s birthday- though i’ll miss her actual day sadly cos thats on friday and i’m working friday evening… she’s having a party next saturday (29th) for folks, but i can’t go to that either cos i’m working that day. its a sad situation, but we’ll do something while i’m home for a couple days. though it will be a bit of a strange weekend- easter weekend, but also four years (on saturday) since Nicky died. yup, another march comes and goes and i won’t go through it without mentioning nick at least once- check the archives, every year, without fail since 2004, in march and/or april. but i guess this is just one of my ways of remembering her.

anyhoo. weird- i just noticed how the arrow cursor (and clicky hand too) has a little shaow under it, so it looks more like its floating.. how bizarre.

i’m quite enjoying dashboard confessional today.

its been a while since i thought about music really. how it can influence your thoughts and mood and feelings.. but i think it does. we watched high fidelity the other night- awesome movie, awesome book, great soundtrack (though the cd is a bit disappointing)- and john cusak has a great line at the start: did i listen to pop music because i was depressed, or was i depressed because i listened to pop music? (shoulder shrug, who knows expression) but its true- people do get profoundly influenced by what they’re listening to…

just read “twilight” by stephenie meyer (too many ‘e’s in that name for my liking..) which was fun.. one of the girls at youth theatre insisted i read it. it was fun, actually. i haven’t read “young adult” or however its branded now, fiction in a while, i forgot how much i like it. nothing is too weird for that. and yet its safe- there’s no graphic sex or violence or gore, its just a great story… i love to read, i love to empathise with another character become someone else for a wee while, so it was fun to just do nothing but read for a morning… reading and cooking are some of my favourite pastimes- so books that have food or recipes in them? even better. but mostly i like people. and talking.

on that i should probably go do something else… :)

man, i’ve been in a bit of a bitch of a mood the last while.. and i don’t know why.

so i’m apologising. (more…)

friend of mine has been out drinking every night this weekend.

in other news, i had a really good day today, enjoyed some good sermonising at church and also a lovely lunch with my very generous auntie.. :)

i’m looking forward to this coming week, it should be full of fun and frolics…

i am going to try to get up at 8 every morning. it is a good feeling, knowing you have a whole day ahead of you…

if i haven’t seen you properly in a while, come for coffee with me. i’d like that.. :)

so i did it

Posted: February 2, 2008 in not much to say, people, religion/relationship
Tags: ,

i actually decided to move from blogger to wordpress.. and after changing my mind several times about the layout/url/etc etc, i think i’m a little happy about it now…

its been a long week this week, what with classes starting, 24/5 prayer, working, reading..

 i spent a lot of time praying on wednesday night- i was in the prayer room 11pm-6am. it drained me, but in a good way, i was really excited about the things that were going on- events happening next week, people just getting together to pray about their friends, family, the whole city.

God is just so good to me sometimes- there were things i was really convicted of that night, and things i had to recognise, which He just brought to my attention.. and He gave me the strength to get through it all.. i think i slept maybe 3 1/2 hours that night, but it was ok, i was awake and concentrated throughmy class and a conversation with emma (good chat btw, ) which was cool.. i ended the day on a bit of a caffeine rush, talking really really fast and fidgetting and laughing a lot, but thats ok..

so today i moved my room around a bit.. it looks good.. i was just not satisfied with how it was looking, did some french knitting, made bread, watched the end of gregory’s girl… pretty soon i’ll need to go and make some dinner (beans on toast, yum yum yum!!!) and then head off to work. ah, the joys. i’ve been on a bit of a crafting craze the past couple of weeks… maybe some day i’ll get my act together and photograph some of the stuff i make.. maybe not though..

my current project is a pompom mobile. it is going to be awesome. promise.

started reading surprised by joy, but haven’t got far cos i decided i needed to read a novel before another serious book (well, seriouser than a novel..) so i’m rereading tears of the giraffe (another excellent book) before getting properly stuck into lewis.

 i’m quite excited to go to church in the morning.. it should be good.. i enjoy church a lot most of the time.. sometimes its just too damn challenging, but mostly its a great time of fellowship with a bit of challenge thrown in… :)

anyway, i should get on.

oh, my parents just bought a house.. moving to edinburgh next month!